


To Stand Guard And Watch Over

by Sera_F (TorehZhark)



Series: The Seraph and the Sentinel [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M, Mourning-arc, OC, heavy emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27839128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TorehZhark/pseuds/Sera_F
Summary: Caides reenters the public eye after the events taken place outside of Prominence. Some problems can only be handled personally, and the behemoth that is the Kingdom of Redeglia continues to grow despite Caides' absence.
Series: The Seraph and the Sentinel [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037721





	To Stand Guard And Watch Over

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this piece intending to "hide" character genders; keep that in mind despite the tags.
> 
> If following the Seraph and the Sentinel, this work contains spoilers; it falls in the Mourning-arc and therefore late in their story.

I slid the charcoal pencil inside my journal and tied it shut. Just as I tucked the book away our caravan hit a deep rut in the road, rocking me up off my feet and roughly back down again. I looked to Miridia, my companion and bodyguard, as she rubbed her side – the jostling had sent her into the railing. 

"Are you done with that yet?" She beckoned with her pike towards the book in my jacket. "Those words will burn a hole in your pocket."

I shook my head slightly. Miridia reminded me of him – brash, protective, quick to wit and quick to speak. 

"Suit yourself. This'd be a bumpy ride before we reach Trist's Peak. Damn empire and their broken roads." She slammed the hilt of her weapon against the wooden floor, the pike cracking the wood and nearly jumping from her grip. 

"Stay your spear. There is little danger here, Miridia."

"As you wish, your _majesty_." My assigned bodyguard turned, scornful, and resumed her seat farther up in the caravan. I did not know still why she was posted by me, for this trip. I had heard of issues with the empire nearby, the local tribe complaining about threats to their territory. Since this part of the federation, Northreach Pine, was unfamiliar to me, I thought I would pay it a visit. Sure would take my mind off of things, I hoped. 

"Leader Sentinel!" Our driver called out to me from the front, reigning in the horses as I stepped to the front to speak. The caravans slowed to a halt, horses anxiously pawing the grounds. Just as impatient as myself. 

"Caides is fine. What is it?" 

"Radiant missionaries, er, Caides. Says they saw our colors and want to pay their respects." The driver, a young sentinel of no more than twenty years, turned to me as he spoke. 

"Very well." 

* * * * * * * 

"Might I?"

Caides looked up from the day’s notes, reiterating several ideas between workbooks. A Radiant – one from the meetings – beckoned towards the open seat. The sentinel nodded, returning to work. 

The silence was comfortable, the clergyman ordering something to eat then resuming his place. Caides’ eyes flickered up every now and then to examine him: the Radiant sat easy in his simple clothing, the insignia of his cult on his chest. A peculiar mark sat on each shoulder of the smock, a triangle with seven lines entering and leaving its sides. 

"I would ask what it is you've got there, but I have a feeling we've discussed it forwards and backwards." The Radiant smiled, motioning to Caides' notes as he took a bite of lunch. Caides looked up blankly. It had been some time since the leader had dealt with the politics of other nations. 

"I'm sorry, I should introduce myself. Seraph Toreh Zhark, a member of the Seven of the Radiant." Fists together, Toreh bowed slightly in acknowledgement. He had done the same to Caides during the earlier meeting with the rest of the Seven and Caides' own team. 

"Toreh Zhark." The word seemed round, rolling around Caides' tongue like a soft sweet or liquor. The way Toreh pronounced it like a breath of fresh air, so naturally Caides played the fool, stumbling over the second syllable and the _r_ as one would a fallen tree branch. 

" _Tor-eh_. Like _'tour'_ and, well, _'hay'_ without the _h_. Zhark, _'z'_ and _'ark"_. My mother's name." Caides repeated Toreh’s name once more. The word grew comfortable, now that Caides had a better grasp of it. 

"Sounds… familiar." 

Toreh nodded. "It's a Radiant name through-and-through." He added something in a language Caides had not heard before, his eye twinkling as he laughed afterwards. "We speak a more complicated language, more complex but more beautiful, I think. Its name roughly translates to 'all-spoken'. Some say it used to be a _lingua franca_ , a universal tongue." The Radiant resumed speaking in his 'universal' tongue. From what Caides could gather, this 'all-spoken' language was wordy and complicated, with a feeling similar to water rushing through a rocky bed. Words flowed to and fro, around conversational eddies and obstructions easily, though the sentences were long and complex, like a network of rivulets connecting into a larger stream. It was agreeably pretty, if not complicated. 

"I'm sorry… _Kai-deez_? _Kai-deez_ , is it? We didn't speak much, aside from the terms of the treaty." Toreh's head tilted as he looked Caides over, eyes lit up again with enthusiasm. 

"Caides. Caides Innsila."

"How do you write that?" the Radiant asked, offering Caides the table space. With a grumble the sentinel flipped to a new page, scrawling out his name in the sharp script of the federation, turning the book to show Toreh. When returned with a puzzled look, Caides continued on to explain how to pronounce each name. The first few symbols were boxy and closed, marking Caides: _'say'_ , _'ds'_ , and a character to mark other sound changes. The next few spelled out the rest: _'in'_ , _'see'_ , and _'la'_. Together:

"Caides Innsila." The sentinel echoed it aloud. It always sounded sharp to the tongue, like the axes Caides’ particular tribe was known for. Sharp, with a fine curve. 

"Caides." When Toreh spoke his accent softened the hard _s_ and _z_ , surrounding the name with a comfortable breath of air. 'Caides' to him was a gentle wind, a sentinel’s trail through the thick woods. 

"Some say it hard, _'Kaides' – 'kay' 'dz'_. It is easier for those of the plains tribes out west say it so." Returning to work Caides began copying one set of notes to another page so the sheet wasted with scribbled names could be thrown away. If anything was to be done, the further discussions with the Radiant needed attention, not this parlay in public. 

"Caides is nice," Toreh agreed, leaning back to stretch. A yawn escaped the Radiant's lips. "I hope I'm not intruding," he added, nodding to the workbooks. 

"You are not; your people are." Caides looked up, wondering why the Radiant would ask such a question. It was the very reason the treaty was being discussed. "Ever since the program of the Radiant became an offense, the Sentinel Federation has been on its teeth." 

"On its teeth?"

"On the watch for danger."

Toreh sighed. "As the rest of the Seven and I tried to say, we are merely doing our duty, as sworn to us by the divine." The Radiant put a hand to his chest, to the icon of the sun painted on his shirt, before he moved on. His voice became tired with words the Radiant had oft-repeated. "We're looking for the best way to protect those within our borders. Ever since the first iteration of the Seven, a century ago, we swore to protect those the early Radiant couldn't. We hoped that these council sessions would help soothe any fears." 

"Any fears?" Caides bristled. "As Leader Sentinel of the Sentinel Federation, I am merely doing my _duty_ to lead the fourteen tribes onwards. Together. Too much blood was spillt in our unification, the unification of the tribes, and I cannot stand for more. Especially from the likes of a cultist." The sentinel snorted. "Our terms are simple: we keep to the forests, and no outsiders trespass. I am sure you Radiant have had dealings with the Kingdom of Redeglia to the north?" 

The words brought a chuckle to the Radiant, catching Caides off guard. "The Royal Kindgom and Domain of the Redeglian Monarchy and Crown?" Toreh asked half-jokingly, a hand waving around in the air. "Not long after Prominence was founded as our capital, they sent a brigade to extort us. The northern front is our most contested, aside from your territories to the northeast." 

"Then you would know about the War of the Thousand, and our victory." Caides' eyes narrowed as he looked at Toreh. "We do not lose inside the trees."

"As do we in our borders." Toreh retorted, his voice taking a sharpness similar to Caides' axes of office. There was a pause, both leaders flooded with pride for their respective peoples. Caides could feel blood pumping through every vein, sharpening the sentinel’s vision and kicking up the primal instincts to fight. Up several notches. Toreh by comparison had calmed even more, his focus a deadpan sharp enough to shear cloth. 

"Then it seems we have something in common." Caides' returned to work as Toreh drew in a breath, exhaling moments later. A chuckle followed. 

"You're a peculiar one, Caides. Never have I seen such fierce determination for one's people, save outside the Seven."

"It took much to unify the tribes," the Leader Sentinel responded curtly.

"Much from your people, or much from you?" Toreh tilted his head, his soft gaze searching Caides for a response. 

* * * * * * * 

I was woken by a bang to the head, the wooden caravan hitting another rock and sending a post into my face. "Curses all around," I swore, rubbing the bruise. After the Radiant had 'paid their respects' bowing and murmuring their prayers, I had settled in for a nap before Trist. 

"Well-slept, I hope." Miridia looked at my pain with some annoyance, some pleasure. I scowled, pulling out my journal to leaf through the pages. The pen had smudged here and there, which I corrected as best I could with my thumb. Luckily nothing damaged or torn. 

"Why do you write in that thing? A sentinel needs to focus and be ready, not bury heads inside books." 

I ignored Miridia, opting instead to return my journal to my jacket and hail the carriage behind ours. They were large and flat, with a great many boxes and cartons full with supplies, gear, and trade goods for our destination. Enough space was made for any rider to move around, though scaling the tied-down cargo was easy for any forest-loving sentinel. With a quick shout a rope was thrown, and seconds later I bounded over to the next moving cart, clearing the couple feet between carriages with ease. I still felt Miridia’s burning gaze behind me, but I continued without hesistation. 

"Chieftain Kapona!" I ducked between a few crates towards the rear of the caravan. The next vehicle in our line was for the chieftains who accompanied me, namely Kapona and Wenki. The two sat with some of their respective people on benches, talking quietly to pass the time travelling. Hearing my voice the oldest sentinel on board raised a hand to have me wait. Though I was their voted leader, many still saw me as a thief and a liar. Keeping to tradition helped ease those thoughts.

"Come, Caides!" Kapona's voice, creaky and rasping, could barely fit between the two carriages. I nodded, jumping again swiftly to bridge the gap. One of Kapona's own, a shorter woman with slim shoulders, grabbed my arm to help me steady. I indicated appreciation again with my head before sitting down. 

"We were just about to discuss the proceedings for tonight, Leader Caides," began Chief Wenki, a male my senior and barely my height. "I would like to present our case for the Royal –"

"It will never work, Wenki." Chief Kapona turned to me, her hair braids held up with a wooden clasp. The grey in the skies matched the age of her hair. "The empire has been asking too much of the local sentinels lately, and those living in the Northreach are restless. We must come with diplomacy, not demands." She waited, calmly watching me for expression. Kapona did not need to speak for me to know what she truly was asking. She was shrewd; I liked that about her. 

"Have those of Northreach spoken to any of the other tribes?" I looked to my elders for guidance, though this seemed only to spur them to look at one another. 

"Well, Lord Caides, I…" My gaze narrowed, quieting Wenki. 

"I had instructed that name be kept silent." 

"I was under the impression that, as per your unification of the fourteen tribes, as was stated by the council itself after the vote, that you…" 

I continued to stare. 

"And ever since the… incident… at… Prominence…"

Blood pumped through my veins. How dare _he_ , a chieftain of an insignificant corner of brush and twigs too pitiful to be called a "forest", challenge _me_ on what happened there? I stood up, knocking over the table abruptly. I looked Wenki down, my fists clenched. "Had I been notified _sooner_ , Chieftain of Blackwood, I might have been able – " 

"Enough!" Kapona shouted once, looked at the two of us in the grip of instinct. "Sit down, both of you. The very leader of the Sentinel Federation, and our master tactician Wenki." Chief Kapona glared daggers until I took my seat again. Wenki, who had stood up at some point during our discussion, complied as well. Seconds passed, wheels turned, the rocking of the caravan interrupted only by a bump in the road every so often. My rage left as soon as it had descended upon me, and I sat now staring out the side of the carriage, over the rolling fields and farmland of Redeglia. What an empty expanse. 

"This is not a good omen," Wenki managed, turning to Chief Kapona. "Things have been shaky since the Radiant… were set back, but with our involvement, and the distance to the empire…" 

"We are all aware, Chief Wenki." I turned back to both chieftains as I spoke. "Just as the council agree, it is a monumental shift in politics." Another monumental shift, if I had the honesty. 

"And we need all the help the great ones will give us," Kapona echoed, looking up to the skies. She gripped something at her neck, a pendant I guessed, before returning her gaze to me. "We must not show the empire any falter on the part of the federation. The Radiant and their lands are no more in jeopardy as they were before. Those… religious have the might and the manpower to take care of themselves. As do we our own." Kapona looked to me at her last words. I nodded. 

"Sixteen tribes, one wood." A hand went from my lips, to my heart, then to a fist by my right ear. All sentinels, chieftains and retainers, repeated the oath likewise.

I sighed. 

"It may come to war, Caides. Wenki’s simple words surprised me, and I looked over him with mild interest before shaking my head.

"Not another," Kapona breathed. 

"It’s never enough, is it?" I asked. 

* * * * * * * 

"Caides, you never did tell me about your last name." The two were sitting on the beachfront of Sanctum, a shipping port in Radiant lands. Seagulls cawed above the tall masts of trade ships, a brisk wind blowing through the piers. 

"My father gave me the name Caides. Innsila was the last name of my wife, Serene." Caides looked towards the water, pulling tighter the leader’s jacket. The patchwork green fabric and leather shielded the sentinel from most of the seaside wind, as well as the prying eyes of Toreh. 

"I’m sorry," the seraph responded, following Caides' eyes in turn to look upon the seas. The wind whipped salt water into white foam, small waves etching lines upon the surface of the harbor and breakers rolling in towards shore. "If it's any consolation, her memory lives on with you." 

"And the rest of the federation." Caides left the bench to continue walking the pier; Toreh followed. "She was taken from me in an invasion. I was the target, but she was a casualty." There were bitter words there biting at Caides' mouth, things that wanted out but couldn't. Shouldn't. 

Toreh looked on. At the lack of response, Caides stopped and turned. "It was a hard war," the sentinel grimaced. There was only gritted teeth between Toreh and the yell building up inside. 

"You did the best you could, given the circumstances. Uniting the Sentinel Federation under your leadership; giving hope to tribes across all lands." 

"But it’s not enough! It’s never enough, Toreh!" Something broke inside Caides, the yell breaking free to erupt here on the pier, right at the Radiant met only a month ago. With another frustrated shout Caides turned, head shaking in anger. "The tribes didn't get along. They never have. But for some gods-forsaken reason they thought war would be the best way to solve problems. The Northreach Pines, the Wondra jungles southeast, even in the capital and Sentinel Mount. Everywhere, the people wanted war! To fight!" 

"Caides," Toreh began.

"No, Toreh, you don't know what it’s like. The Radiant fight to protect others. You were forced into war, when the first Seven were slaughtered where they stood. We the Sentinels have had violence in our blood from the start. Our tribes have always been at war – since the great wheel of time began turning, since the first tree gave root to all things. It was my father's dream to unite the tribes, and his father's before that." Caides turned to look at Toreh: a face flushed with anger, eyes dark and wet as a brewing storm. “When I united the tribes – with alliance, favor, combat – I thought it was over." The Leader Sentinel turned away, moving closer to the seas brushing the pier. "Imagine my surprise when I came home to the smell of burning wood." 

Toreh took a moment before following, moving up next to the sentinel’s left. Another moment passed in silence, Toreh willing the conversation onwards and deliberating before deciding to put an arm around Caides’ shoulders. 

"I found her there, Neal and Anissa clinging to her dead body. I had to have Rubella pick them up and take them away before I could…" Caides took a deep breath, a tear welling up in his eye. "Before I could cry." Two likewise tears began to slide down his face, matting into the beard at his cheeks. "I found Sasha too, underneath the rubble."

Caides turned to Toreh, and after a moment pulled him close. Surprised, the seraph stood unmoving for a moment before giving the sentinel an awkward hug.

"I could've done something, Toreh," Caides whispered. 

"You did what you could do, Caides." Toreh patted the Leader Sentinel on the back.

The two embraced on the pier in silence, separating when the moment was past.

"I think it was time I showed you my home, Caides," Toreh offered as they started the walk back. "I hope you don't have a fear of heights. Or the ocean." He smiled. 

It took Caides some time to decide. “Perhaps with another day," he replied, a smile winking across his face before the solemn demeanor returned, the leader of the Sentinel Federation composed once more. 

* * * * * * * 

I had visited Toreh's home on my third trip to Prominence, capital to Radiant lands. The walled city was a sight to behold, perched atop a cliff on the edge of the Gold Sea, the towered keep visible from miles away. He told me later he was from a smaller town, Goodharbor, on the coast to the north, and that his permanent residence was an old lighthouse west of there. He rarely ventured home to his family, preferring a small apartment in Prominence alongside the rest of the Seven. Leading a nation ate all of one's life and career. So much if I knew that. 

Cantrap Terrance's residence sat likewise atop a cliff, overlooking a vast forest of towering pines. Northreach Pine, the disputed sentinel territory here. We had been ushered into the house at the appointed time, then out to the back porch where refreshments were to be served. I stood, watching the clouds high above drifting slowly. The skies had thickened since our arrival, the grey overcast condensing into visible cloud cover. It was a comfortable cool, perfect for dignitary talk in my official dress. It was stuffy in hotter weather. 

"Milord Terrance should be along shortly." I scowled on reflex, Miridia and Chief Kapona both shooting me looks as the servant made his exit.

"If… Caides… were to take a… misstep in relations, and ruin this entire mission," Wenki mused, looking over his own papers.

I turned my attention back to the skies. "Chieftain Kapona, explain to me my position again." I spoke slowly, trying to fill up the time as much as possible. In my defense, plans had changed as soon as we had arrived here in Trist’s Peak and Northreach. 

"Leader Caides," Kapona explained, "Northreach Pine, the forest and surrounding hills, are controlled and inhabited by our people. Because this expanse borders the Kingdom of Redeglia, the federation council expected conflict between the sentinels and this nation's citizens." 

"Why does the Northreach tribe not make these dealings with us?" Chieftain Kapona seemed to paw the ground like an unbridled horse at my words. I looked for answers from the assembled company. 

"Well, considering the position of you…" Wenki carefully probed, "and the Seraph…" 

"That I unified the tribes and repaired relations with our neighbors?" I whirled about, searching harder still for more support. 

"Not just, Caides." Chief Kapona’s voice broke the tension "In addition –" 

"In addition, the relationship the Sentinel Federation has with Redeglia is tentative at best. And more recently, I've decided to clear away some of that, ahem, forest of yours to make space for my next project." A voice drifted from inside the house, drawing the attention of every sentinel in attendance. Myself included. A portly man dressed in robes appeared at the doorway, flanked by guards of his own and servants-in-waiting. "Come in, you sentinel folk. Rain approaches." Cantrap Terrance coughed before reentering his home; I merely beckoned for the rest of the federation to follow me inside. 

"What rain," Miridia grumbled. I looked to her, jerking my head to have her stay close.

"I have little trust here," I explained quietly, and she met my gaze.

"First time we’ve agreed." 

Inside the servants shut doors and windows open to the outside. Terrance was reclining on a plush couch of thick material beside a table nearby full of breads, fruits, and other sweets. "Please," he offered, taking a large roll himself to bite greedily into. I refused, as did Miridia. The rest of our company followed suit. 

"Cantrap Terrance," I started, "I trust you have prepared for our meeting here." 

"Lord Caides, fearless unifier of the Sentinel Federation." Terrance shifted his prone body, looking at me with dark pools for eyes. "Of course I know why you are here, buffoon." The cantrap took another bite of morsels before continuing, bits of bread spreading across his robes as he spoke with his mouth full. 

"You know, I liked you more before I met you." Cantrap Terrance noted as he swallowed. "Redeglian politics can be so boring. Cantraps like myself, magistrates, stewards, all vying for power and fighting one another in silly social games. Boring. You, on the other hand, speak your mind, and seldom at that. I envy you." Another snack and Terrance waved the food away, a young girl scurrying to clear the table before her master. 

"As for the issue at hand, I feel that there is a need here for more barracks, so that I may house my soldiers in better conditions than these." As if to explain the cantrap looked about the room, sweeping through the half-dozen guards in company. Several looked young enough to be sons of mine; two had quivered when I entered with axes displayed. I was not impressed. 

"You have fine quarters here," I answered. 

"Especially for a force of this… size," Wenki added. For all of his talk of 'misstepping relations' he seemed to step wrongly with a sizeable heel. I glanced to Chieftain Kapona, warning flashing in my eyes. 

"He’s not wrong." Chiming in was Miridia’s voice behind me. That was – 

"Enough! If you cannot be civil, return to the caravan!" I pointed towards the front entrance as I spoke, though expectedly no one moved. Neither did the command leave my voice. 

"If I may suggest, cantrap, that you and I step to a more private conversation." I folded my arms as I waited for Terrance, looking about the delegation that had brought me here. Times like this I was parent to whom – me or my sentinels. 

"To my study then." Cantrap Terrance did not skip a beat, clapping his hands for servants to lead my company out as others helped him up and into a side room. I followed, Miridia at my heels. 

"Do not try that again," I growled, praying my companion nodded yes at the words. 

"Better?" Cantrap Terrance had set himself up at a fine wooden desk, papers, ledges, ink and quills strewn about everywhere. A vast window looked out over the forests to my left, drawing my gaze.

"Again, my apologies," I offered. 

"Such is the case with barbarians." Terrance's tone was offhanded; I hoped he could not see my teeth clench. "Regardless, if the Lord Sentinel is are willing to provide adequate lumber and manpower for the barracks, I may be able to overlook this insult." I held my breath at the words, burying the thoughts I wanted to voice. 

"Nothing to say?" Terrance clicked his tongue. With a small flurry of papers the cantrap took a quill to begin arithmetic, scribbling out numbers and calculations for a minute or so. I returned to the side of the desk, watching intently. After what seemed to be two lengthy calculations, Cantrap Terrance turned the paper to me, and pointed with his quill. 

"Now I’m being very generous here. Just the lumber and the manpower for a barracks to hold two hundred men, give or take. That would require… let me see… ah, yes. Roughly forty-five thousand board feet, or in your archaic terms, twelve acres of lumber." The cantrap looked up slyly. I was still busy going through his notes. 

"Twelve acres is absurd! Caides," Miridia voiced. My mind was delving into the beaurocrat's calculations. I could map a battlefield thrice over with combatants, organize a twenty acre firefight, and plan reconnaissance missions with ease. Any arithmetic with more calculations than tribes in the federation had me stumbling like a green sentinel fresh out of training. I shushed Miridia with a wave when I reached my own solution.

"Your calculations here are incorrect,” I noted, handing the paper back. “A tree is capable of more than a few feet of wood per timber. A building of that size should be no more than twenty trees, give or take a hand." I looked up at Terrance to see the cantrap shaking his head. 

"Only the best for my men, I'm afraid. Can't have them sleeping on the ground like some dastardly sentinel, now could I? Think of the prestige I would lose, the fame." Terrance went on and on about his social status, but I had stopped listening at the mention of my people as 'dastards'. Once again, my fists tightened. 

"Redeglian, listen here." My voice has taken a turn downwards, more of a guttural snarl than actual speech. Miridia took a step towards me. Terrance cut her off. 

"Tsk, tsk. Now we can’t have some barbarian telling the common folk how to live, now could we?" There was a dark glint in Terrance’s eyes as he shifted, a smile slowly growing across his face. "That would be unsightly. A barbarian and a commoner, living the same lifestyle? The two eating and drinking together? A disgrace, I would think. What could be worse?" I saw the idea forming, condensing from cold wit like a dark cloud.

"Don't."

"I agree," Terrance noted, stepping down from his chair. "Nothing could be worse than a barbarian and a priest." 

"Especially if they bedded together."

I lost control, slamming my fist on the desk as that bastard-born bureaucrat waddled out of the room. My whole body shook, instinct running through my veins like wildfire. It was the same feeling as in combat, and as I tried to push it down and suppress the anger, the rage, my body shook harder. "Damn this!" I yelled, slamming the other fist onto the desk. A loud crack echoed through the room, and I stood quivering, mind in chaos. I had not felt this way since then, since I was last in Prominence. 

* * * * * * * 

It was like reentering the world underwater, struggling to breathe through the thick absence of air all around me. Wet heat accompanied the fear of not being able to catch my breath. I gasped for air like a madman. 

_Pain shot through Caides’ limbs as he ran at a breakneck pace. Trees, houses, farmland all flew by as the sentinel raced across the landscape. It had to be enough time, had to be enough, his mind shouted. The warning not minutes prior had thrown the Lord Sentinel out of his bed and running now from his home to his home-away-from-home: Prominence. Where Toreh was. That was his only objective now: not his lungs screaming, not his legs burning as they whizzed back and forth impossibly fast. He had to make it in time. He just had to._

_The last hillock before Prominence would be in sight almost drove the sentinel mad, the farmland cut thin for the harvest. Made the ground coarse and sharp underfoot. Any lost tools or hidden rocks underneath the loose chaff would send the running Caides sprawling, breaking a leg and destroying his mission. Not to mention the added strain of sprinting uphill. Damn that, he cursed. If it means I need to break every leg in my body to get there, so be it. I’m not going to die and give in to my body at this point, I –_

_Rounding the top of the hill brought Caides’ run to a dead halt._

_A man in white was falling. Time seemed to slow as his body crumpled, first a jerk backwards as though punched in the gut. The figure doubling over in pain. Next the knees, bending and straining to keep the body upright before giving way, the man losing altitude and descending towards the ground. Crumbling to a kneel he bent backwards, face upturned to the sky and arms askance. Caides saw the face turn, almost too far away to make out. Too far away to see the tears in the man’s eyes as the life left his body, the figure slumping down onto the ground. Too far away to hear the loud crunch of bone – the same as the snap in sprinting Caides’ foot, desperate to reach the man._

_It was too late._

I woke up from the dream in a feverish sweat, bolting upright and throwing sheets about the room. One end hit a nightstand, sending the furniture across the floor and careening into the wooden wall. It woke Miridia, appearing at the door fully armed and dressed, a worried look on her face. I wish I had seen my own expression: her first look of worry was nothing compared to the second, after her eyes made it up to my face. 

* * * * * * * 

"Caides, your majesty, soon it will be right as rain." Even Miridia’s shallow attempt at humor wasn't rubbing off on me now. 

We had – ahem – Chieftain Kapona had agreed with our 'hosts' to meet the next morning, in a last attempt to resolve the situation here. Miridia and I, naturally, were put back in the cantrap's study while the discussion was had. I was distraught, to say the least. The tension was so thick you could cut it and serve it to royalty. Or cantraps. 

"Caides…" Miridia spoke, breaking the already uncomfortable silence. I had resumed my post at the sill, observing the weather of Northreach Pine. "Might I…" 

"Ask, Miridia." There was a pause.

I felt it, in my bones, in the rain. A halt in the air itself. 

"I heard the rumors when I was asked, but I didn’t believe them… that’s partly why I took this post." 

I was still looking outside the window at the onset the coming rain. She continued. 

"He’s really gone then." Miridia watched as I observed more clouds form. 

"Toreh."

The white billows in the sky drifted slowly together. Winds churned the puffs like the locals would cream into butter – thick and heavy. 

"Toreh Zhark. Your… better half."

I let out a heavy sigh. "Yes. Toreh and I are wedded." Without thinking my thumb checked that missing space on my fourth finger, the ring I no longer wore.

"That’s not what I –" Miridia stopped. Her spear thumped dully on the floorboards.

I was grateful, then, for her silence, so I could watch the raindrops high above form into small specks, ready to fall across the trees of Trist’s Peak and Northreach. 

"And?" 

I left the window. "And what."

It occurred to me that I could end the conversation there as the Lord Sentinel of the United Federation and Miridia’s superior: my drawn face issuing the order, Miridia crestfallen, stepping back in line as subordinate. 

"And this is the second time." 

I froze. Miridia was the first person to confront me from both sides... not only the more recent. I turned to address my bodyguard, but now it was her turn to look out the window and crane her neck to avoid me. 

"Again, yes. It happened… again." I sighed, my body beginning anew. Air entered my lungs, blood began to pump again as my heart resumed its tempo. I slumped into a chair, forgetting the equipment at my belt – namely the axes of my office – and I was forced into a crooked twist. Upright and uncomfortable. 

Miridia moved towards me at the dull clang to assist, but I waved her off with a slow hand again. I removed them myself, axe and axe falling to the floor. My hands followed. 

"Miridia." My tongue navigated speech uncertainly, unfaithful to my mind. "To lose one’s mate is tragedy indeed." 

She nodded.

"But…"

"But to lose one's mate a second time is death itself," Miridia completed. She had resumed watching me, scanning my face for signs of life. I met her look with just a wry smile. It’s what Toreh would’ve wanted, I thought. Funny. 

“Toreh did that too. Finish all of my thoughts, out loud.” I wished a tear would fall, so that she would receive my words more easily. “A shame you didn’t know him as I did.”

Miridia was silent.

"No, Miridia. To lose one’s spouse, then a second, is death. But for me, Toreh became more than my newest mate. He was the one who took me in without reservations – the new experiences I felt and the new places I saw. He was the doubt, the fear of truth and lies, of false gods and real ones. The questions of my allegiances and motivations. He was strength, and joy, and a light I nor any sentinel I think has ever had the chance to feel otherwise. When he stood next to me, I felt as if the suns themselves lit at his command. Lit at his will." 

I took a deep breath. 

"The Seraph Toreh Zhark was my mate and my husband and my lover. And now he is dead, lost with my fallen brothers and sisters, sleeping eternally upon the plane of souls."

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I kind of hate the ending monologue. But I haven't written a better replacement, and it does what I want it to do (for now).


End file.
